When schedules heat up from BACK-TO-SCHOOL activities, here’s how to stay connected
By Kristen West
ENGAGING IN QUALITY family time—whether it’s reading or singing with young children, or sharing meals, conversations and activities with teens—is strongly linked to secure attachment, resilience, better learning and a greater sense of well-being.
It sounds ideal, but how do we make time for meaningful connections when back-to-school routines barrage us with tight schedules and after-school commitments?
Thankfully, staying connected doesn’t require hours of free time. Kayla Crane, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver, emphasizes the importance of being present, even briefly. “Ten minutes of being intentional with no phone or technology can be so much more meaningful than spending two hours next to each other on your phone or not engaging at all,” she says.
Start by building connection time into your routine, just as you would schedule an event or meeting. A review published in the Journal of Family Theory & Review found that consistent family rituals—such as regular mealtimes or bedtime routines—significantly support children’s development. These routines help regulate sleep, improve behavior and foster emotional security.
If your family’s schedule doesn’t allow for long dinners or drawn-out evening rituals, Crane suggests finding pockets of time to connect. In the morning, ask your kids to set a goal for the day or ask them what they’re looking forward to, she says. In other words, pause the rushing for a moment to be present. Instead of playing music in the car, talk about your day, play a guessing game or perform a quick mindfulness practice.
Small, consistent actions can become part of your family rhythm. Try attaching connection to something you already do. Before a morning coffee, for example, make it a rule that everyone talks about what they’re grateful for, or do a five-minute meditation every day before brushing their teeth. Making it a rule makes it easier to form a ritual.
Gratitude practices are particularly effective. Speaking or journaling about what you’re grateful for has been shown to reduce stress, improve sleep and strengthen relationships. “Normally, we don’t talk in that way,” Crane says. “But taking a moment to share what made you laugh that day, or something you’re thankful for, can make a big difference.” One study found that people who recorded their gratitude once a week for six weeks reported increased happiness and life satisfaction, even six months later.
To make routine moments more memorable, try mixing them up. Bring dinner outside for
a backyard picnic. Add music and turn chores into a dance party. Light candles for a simple weeknight meal. Small changes like these can transform everyday moments into intentional, shared experiences.
Setting boundaries around work, school and technology is also essential. “When you’re home, be home,” Crane says. “I always suggest boundaries around work because it can bleed into everything. It starts by checking a quick email, and before you know it, two hours have gone by.” Determine a consistent time when everyone finishes homework and work and turns off their screens.
And finally, let the kids take the lead sometimes. Asking a teen to choose a playlist on road trips or letting a younger child plan a weekend breakfast menu can foster cooperation and create small but meaningful leadership moments. When kids feel heard and included, they’re more likely to open up.
With a bit of planning and intention, even the busiest families can find time to reconnect. Whether it’s five minutes before bed or a quiet conversation during a car ride, those moments add up—building trust, emotional safety and lasting memories along the way.
